** Getting to know Lynell from YouMeMountainRiverSunSea **
I recently finished a journal yesterday (I love to journal by the way) and the quote on the front cover says ‘Do not count the days – make the days count’. A reminder, every day, to do just that – make the days count.
So I decided I would do something different – even just the smallest thing – just something different.
It has become a habit for me to hang out the washing on the washing line from left to right; as I am left-handed, I use my left hand to clip the pegs. So I decided to hang the washing from right to left and using my right hand to clip the pegs. I thought at the beginning this was just a silly exercise – but after I finished, I was in tears and I like I had conquered my own little Mt Everest (I’m not far off the washing pile was huge!)
It sounds simple enough right – just switch things around to what you would normally do. Well for me, this was not the case. I really had to consciously think about what I was doing, like really think – and my brain hurt after it. In the beginning my self-talk was ‘this is pretty stupid, you could get it done so much quicker if you did it the way you have always done it’ and ‘I have so many other chores I could get started if I stopped this silly exercise and carry on the way I have always done it’ and ‘I am having trouble opening the peg with my right hand as it seems so unnatural’.
I persevered – and I am so thankful I did. It MADE me actually present to hanging out the washing – like picking up Nathan’s favourite long sleeve shirt that he wears, and give it a quick sniff to see if it smelt like him, (it didn’t – I can’t quite figure out if I was happy or sad about this – I wanted it to smell like him just a bit, but I also wanted to make sure the laundry powder I use does its job) and holding it up and around my body as if he was cuddling me (sounds crazy right) and realising how lucky I am that he chose me as his wife (ah warm feeling in my belly moment).
When I picked up Rainbows first full swimming costume and just marvelling at how it looks so big in comparison to what her newborn clothes were like – and how close we had come to losing her (I may have started crying at the point). As her middle name is Rainbow, I checked to see it had all the colours of Rainbow like the Rainbow song (more tears). I picked up my maternity bra; and marvelled at the fact that I am so fortunate to be able to breastfeed her and share a bond that I, still to this day and after having three children, cannot put the right words to explain how it makes me feel. To know I am one of the fortunate Mums who can give their child part of me, to help her grow, to supply her with the most nutritious most natural milk nature can give.
I picked up Harry’s Hat that he had worn for 4 years at child care (he is only 6 years old) and how even though it has always been too big for him and sits low on his forehead so that when he looks up, he has to tilt his head that bit further – to see you (more tears). His ‘Harry.H’ orange hat that is so battered and worn, but he loves it. The hat he wore when he made lifelong friends already at his age, where I met my best friend as Harry and her son are best mates, (even more tears) at a child care where the carers became like a second family and we have watched families grow together.
I picked up Savvy’s swimming costume and hung it next to Rainbows – I could picture them both there in their costumes, and how throughout life, these two sisters will be by each other’s sides for as long as this life has set out for them (tears are flowing like a river). It honestly feels like one minute Savvy was our firstborn and we did everything by the book; our sweet little baby who giggles anytime you say ‘bum’ to Savvy being my quietly confident rock at times when Nathan has been away for work and Rainbow was not well.
Once she came into my room in the middle of the night when she heard me crying even though I tried to hide it. She comforted me just by stroking my hair and wiping my tears and saying ‘Mummy I love you, you should never hide your tears – that’s what you tell me and Harry. It’s okay to cry’.
It took me over an hour to finish this task where normally it would take 20-25 minutes.
If I had not set myself this (now not so silly) task – I would have just been like a robot and got the job done. Instead, I got to appreciate my family in the craziest way.
I even noticed at one stage I had my tongue sticking out to the side like Rainbow had when she was learning to move a toy from one hand to the next, I stood back once I had finished with my hands on my hips and a grin on my face like Harry does when he finishes building a new lego set, and a slight tilt of my head to the left like Savvy when she asks me a question.
My challenge for you is to do something different every day, even if it means starting small – because it is the small things that start the big things rolling.